DON’T look for the Mental Blocks causing you to get in your own way

Yes, I know. This is weird advice from someone with a team that removes headtrash and internal roadblocks for clients every week, perhaps. But, read on to discover what to look for instead, because today I share the ONE thing you can *actually* look for that’ll pay dividends (instead of ending in frustration).

A few days ago a friend asked me: “So, how do I know if I’ve got “blocks” or blind spots holding me back and how do I go about looking for them?”

Oooooooooooooh, great question.

My answer: We all have them, but I recommend you DON’T look for them straight out of the gate. The people who do typically find themselves spinning in circles.

Yes, I said it.

DON’T LOOK to identify the exact blocks holding you back. At least, not immediately. They’re often tricky to figure out. You may guess them right. But you very well may NOT. In fact, your mind is likely hiding them from you as part of its ongoing efforts to try and keep you safe. (This is why blocks are also known as “blind spots”. You, by definition, can’t see them….)

???? To uncover what’s ACTUALLY holding you back, here’s what to first look for *instead*: ????


  • frustration,
  • wasted time,
  • energy, or
  • money.


Why look for patterns instead of specific blocks or thoughts or beliefs holding you back?

Because your patterns are the symptoms you experience when you’re getting in your own way, and they provide the most useful clues that will methodically help you uncover your exact blocks.

It’s basically searching for smoke instead of fire. Much more fruitful. Patterns are easily observable. They’re trackable as they change. And they’re having specific, measurable impacts on your life, right now. Patterns are the most powerful, useful starting points that allow you to figure out what’s going on underneath the surface.


Patterns come in 2 flavors:

  • emotional
  • behavioral

The EMOTIONAL PATTERNS that hold us back often look like ongoing or triggered feelings we can’t seem to stop (like getting angry at a spouse every time they tell us what to do or experiencing anxiety every time clients email us billing-related questions — these patterns can derail us completely for hours or days).

The BEHAVIORAL PATTERNS that hold us back are typically either compulsive actions we can’t seem to stop taking (like quadruple-checking our work even when we know it’s not necessary or saying unnecessarily harsh things to our employees every time they make mistakes) … or… they’re the ABSENCE of actions we want to take but can’t bring ourselves to (like avoiding difficult conversations, severe procrastination any time a project involves being on video, etc.)

Patterns come in all shapes and sizes.

The one constant with patterns is that they repeat over and over and over + are COSTING you something (money, pain, frustration, energy, etc.)

Here are some example patterns that cost our clients hundreds of thousands of dollars each year:

  • conflict avoidance (behavioral)
  • fear of rejection (emotional)
  • procrastination (behavioral)
  • anxiety associated with criticism (emotional)
  • perfectionism (behavioral)
  • inability to set boundaries (behavioral)
  • chronic avoidance of difficult conversations (behavioral)
  • constant worry about being a fraud/fake (emotional)


If you’re ready to uncover some of the patterns holding you back, ask yourself the 3 Magic Wand Questions to get you going:

If I had a magic wand and could make anything go away…

  1. What do I DO regularly that I wish I’d just stop?
  2. What do I FEEL or THINK regularly that is holding me back?
  3. What do I EXPERIENCE regularly that I would wish to no longer experience?

The questions above allow us to become more aware of the PATTERNS we experience with regularity that are slowing us down and negatively impacting the quality of our lives.


Don’t spin yourself in circles wondering if you have “mental blocks” or “mindset problems” holding you back.

Start at square #1 and get clarity on the PATTERNS in your life that are COSTING you.

That’s the first step.*

And that’s all you need, right now.

* Once you know your patterns, you can quickly work backwards and uncover your actual blocks. That’s what happens next.

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