THIS is what not being okay with yourself can look like.

This was Erin, age 11.

I share this to show that NOT being okay with yourself can look like kicking ass, winning awards, excelling, and achieving what your peers could never imagine.

How this is possible:

When you doubt your worth as a person, part of you will expend an exorbitant amount of effort trying to continually PROVE your worth to yourself and others.

For some people it looks like….

….fancy cars or watches.

….a compulsion to one-up others’ stories.

….crushing it but never being able to accept compliments.

….berating yourself after sales calls that didn’t close because you’re SURE the reason the prospect didn’t bite was 100% ALL YOU.

….feeling devastated around super successful peers because your life is nothing but comparisons.

For me, personally?
It was always ACHIEVING.


This sheet of paper is just page 1 of “Erin listing out recent awards and achievements”….because this is what “proof of being good enough” looked like to me as an 11 year old.

As I got older the “proof” piled up, but the “not good ENOUGH” hole never did.

New proof made me feel good for a short bit, but then the hole drained out and I was left experiencing a compulsive need to be better than everyone else around me all over again. Rinse and repeat for a few decades.


When you’re not okay with who you are, you pay the price with a million little paper cuts (in the form of self sabotage) every month.

– You don’t do things you need to do.

– You avoid what will move the needle.

– You may spend a crazy amount of time doing things that don’t need to be done.

And until you fill up that hole for good and have an overriding sense of “You know what? I’m actually TOTALLY OK”…things will continue to be far, far more difficult for you than they need to be.


The hamster wheel of having to prove yourself


…until you step off of it.
And you CAN do that.

If you don’t, be repeating your exact patterns 10 years down the road.

As always, it’s up to you.

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