One of the most dangerous, sneakily-disguised forms of self sabotage?
“Getting Ready To Be Ready.”
LOOKS LIKE –> Massive action. Extreme productivity.
IS ACTUALLY –> Working on piddly stuff that won’t move the needle. Is typically raw avoidance + procrastination, powered by fear or uncertainty.
Adding to the damage potential:
This well-disguised form of self sabotage gets applauded and praised by others, making it EVEN MORE tempting and comfortable to continue wearing it.
A few recent examples I’ve seen…
He’d do everything humanly possible to “get ready” when it came time to work on big projects. Send emails, research MORE OPTIONS, double then triple-check with other people, start researching other projects, rewrite a checklist/plan, send the client a list of non-critical questions, etc. He literally could have just STARTED. But he never felt ready.
This was costing him in weeks of time, massive amounts of stress (because he ALWAYS felt behind and like there wasn’t enough time), and pummeled self esteem (“Why do I keep doing this?? I can’t stop, I feel so powerless over ME..”).
New friend from sunny Florida
Self-admitted “success zombie.” Goes to event after event, seminar after seminar, buys book after book. (In fact I met him at… yes… a seminar). But, he doesn’t implement and things aren’t changing the way he wants. He doesn’t feel ready, doesn’t feel like he has enough info yet.
He momentarily considered stopping the self-sabotage cycle + creating permanent change by reaching out to me—but then told himself “it’s too expensive” only to turn around and sign up for another event within the week.
Unfortunately, guess where this pattern of “getting ready to be ready” and collecting more info to see transformation will likely lead him in 6 months? (Yes, to more events, not a completely new reality…)
Outwardly-successful businesswoman I met at a recent talk
This woman said she has been trying to level up for years, but finds that she compulsively stays in the planning stage. She plans to plan. She spends days planning in hopes of feeling ready soon. When it comes time to implement, she considers moving forward but then gets pulled back into changing the plan because it’s comforting, soothing, and temporarily makes her feel like she’s getting closer to really being ready.
Unfortunately, all the action, energy, and time she’s spent (which looks impressive to her colleagues) has left her in complete and total paralysis. She’s not moved forward. She’s stayed stuck for years. She told me, “It’s like walking in a tiny circle all day every day. I’m moving fast, I’m working hard, but I’m going NOWHERE.”
To others, these people all LOOK like they’re taking MASSIVE action…
Look at her planning!
Look at him really investing in his success and going to these events!
Look at him doing that research and due diligence and all of that hard work!
…but in reality, these people were all spinning their wheels and working on the WRONG actions.
And they KNEW it.
Their lack of results PROVED it.
Compulsively getting ready to get ready will ensure you’re a whole lotta not far from where you are 1 year from today.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re taking real action.
If you’re getting ready to get ready, you’re sabotaging yourself.
You’re self-soothing by tricking a part of you into believing you’re doing something productive.
But you’re only hurting yourself.
Try to objectively (and without judgement) track how often you’re feeling busy, working hard, and getting ready to FINALLY be ready.
Perhaps if you gain awareness about how often you’re engaging in this pattern, you’ll begin to see how deeply it’s impacting your life and holding you back.
When you're tired of getting in your own way, and you know you're capable of SO much more, it's time to talk to us.