I have a friend in Denver who is a brilliant, naturally-gifted salesman.
He works at a growing, multi-million dollar company that’s expanding internationally.
And ever since I’ve known him, whenever he’s talked about his company’s owner, he’s called the fellow an Asshole.
With a capital “A”.
My friend has insisted his company’s owner is uncaring, rude, aggressive, selfish, and unethical… and that he treats his employees horribly.
Last week, my friend had to prepare for a meeting with the owner in which he needed to talk about a 1-million dollar deal, 3-week international business travel plans, a new commission structure, and a pay raise.
A big meeting indeed.
He wasn’t looking forward to it.
He wasn’t expecting great outcomes.
He just KNEW his unreasonable “Asshole-boss” was more than likely going to blow up at him.
And here’s where things get really awesome.
Two nights before the big meeting, my friend and I do a single round of MindFix work after we met up for sushi in Boulder.
Then my friend had his big meeting the next day.
And instead of the typical blow-up, argument, or heated and unfruitful conversation…
…my friend walked away with a salary raise, a bonus, the offer for a custom commission structure, and the possibility to take ownership of the million dollar deal.
He also said the company owner—for the first time he can remember—was calm, responsive, rational, and totally reasonable.
In other words, this company owner went from total asshole….
…to an OK guy…
I asked my friend what he thought happened — and how he thought it was possible that his boss had changed SO incredibly, practically overnight.
I was super curious to hear what his answer would be.
And I smiled when I heard his explanation, because I think he hit the nail on the head.
His boss hadn’t changed overnight.
In fact, his boss hadn’t changed at all.
It was MY FRIEND who’d changed overnight — from our round of MindFix work.
Our short hour together changed how my friend showed up in the world.
MY FRIEND went into the meeting with a new level of calm and confidence he’d never brought to their past interactions.
MY FRIEND showed up with a new presence and a different way of being.
And when one person takes initiative and shows up differently, others respond and react in totally new ways.
Suddenly, THEY seem different, too.
When you show up calm and confident and clear, you project a massive ripple effect out on those around you.
When you’re clear and calm instead of anxious and aggressive, people don’t feel the need to be defensive or protective.
They can work WITH you with more ease.
The next time you find yourself ranting about how awful someone is, get curious.
Play with the possibility of throwing them for a complete loop and showing up for/to them in a COMPLETELY different way.
How incredible is it to realize that the person you’re calling an intractable asshole or jerk or slimeball…
…has the POTENTIAL to actually be an okay person underneath, if you just show up to them in a different way.
Things may not work out exactly as you want every time, but calling someone a name locks them into them FOREVER SEEMING that way to you,
no matter what they do.
How YOU show up for others affects how others show up FOR you.
How YOU show up affects how others treat you.
Changing how YOU show up can turn someone from a “lifelong asshole”….
…into a totally reasonable, really great guy.
When you're tired of getting in your own way, and you know you're capable of SO much more, it's time to talk to us.