Not getting the results you’ve been working so hard for?

Over the past 2 decades I’ve observed that when high performers aren’t seeing the results they’re aiming for, it typically boils down to one or more of 6 primary causes.

A couple years ago I created a framework called “B.O.T.H.E.R” to help high performers quickly tune in to where their biggest challenges were coming from. (After all, it IS a *massive* bother for high achievers to feel like they’re consistently falling short of their potential…)

Here’s the framework with the 6 key reasons.

Ask yourself: Are any of these currently slowing you down?


Results happen when you consistently, regularly, relentlessly engage in the RIGHT behavior, whether it’s comfortable or not.

High achievers typically run into one of two problems when it comes to behaviors.

They either”

  1. Focus on the wrong behaviors to begin with, or
  2. They self-sabotage (yes, even high performers do this) by avoiding the exact behaviors they know they need to work on to get the results they’re aiming for.

For those struggling with reason #2, it can be because of “H” (see below), because their striving instincts (which are measurable and deeply encoded into us) don’t align with the behavior they expect of themselves, or because they have limiting beliefs that cause them to subconsciously hit the brakes every single time they focus on taking action.
The beliefs and the subconscious sabotage are often two of the most difficult culprits to identify, and are not surprisingly two of the most life-changing for high performers to overcome.


(Boy do I know one this FAR too well.)

This happens when you take off from the starting line with a streak of fire and burn up every ounce of your energy before you’ve hit the half way mark.

It happens when you don’t strategically plan rest and recovery into your days, weeks, and months.

It happens when you don’t take any Free Days.

You give it all you’ve got for as long as you’ve got because damn it, you’re a hard worker! Welcome to burnout.

When you overwork, your capacity to be resourceful, creative, strategic, and intentional takes a massive nosedive, and “giving it your best” is a feeble effort because that’s all you can manage.

Energy management is critical for high performers, but often overlooked due to the very nature of high performers mindsets.

➡️ T = TIME

Some friends, colleagues, and clients lament about not having achieved the results their aiming for, but simply haven’t allowed an appropriate amount of time to pass.

If you’re 30 lbs overweight, you’re not going to look like a competition-ready bodybuilder in 4 weeks, no matter how hard you work or how serious your intentions.

Realistic expectations and allowing the right work to make the changes it needs to make are required but often overlooked by ambitious high performers.

➡️ H = HEART

This is an interesting culprit. It’s sneaky and flies under the radar.

I’ve worked with a large number of high achievers over the years who insisted they wanted a certain goal… but at the end of the day, their heart wasn’t TRULY in it.

Some thought they wanted the end goal simply because it sounded nice.

Some felt like they should want a certain goal, but it didn’t truly match what they cared about.

Some were clinging on to old ways of thinking and old identities that no longer suited them.

All of them were working towards goals…but their hearts simply weren’t in it.

And when your heart isn’t aligned and deep down you truly don’t want what you say you want, you’re far less likely to hit your ambitious goals.


I’ve watched high performers who evaded the other 5 pitfalls in this framework get pulled down into the quagmire when it comes to environment—all without ever realizing it.

Without an environment of people that continue to push you to be a better version of yourself, even high performers fall short of their potential.

High achievers don’t thrive in low-vibe environments, where a lack of massive potential and incredible success don’t exist to inspire, motivate, and push.


Sometimes, when results aren’t being achieved, it’s because high performers are holding on to the wrong resources for too long.

The wrong coach, the wrong coaching program, the wrong mentor.

It can be because the resource wasn’t a great fit to begin with, because they’ve outgrown their resources, or because the resource isn’t right at that particular moment in time.

Clinging on to resources and insisting “this is the best XYZ!” holds high performers back.

I’ve seen this extensively in the past few months during which multiple friends insisted on staying with a poor-fit resource that no longer served them and was actually preventing them from reaching their big picture goals.

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